Jennsylvania's longest Meme EVER

The Longest Meme-EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Daycare- it’s weekly, I almost always forget and then hope I don’t get T.D. kicked out.

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
We are NOT romantic people, period. So a romantic dinner. That’ is pushing it. It’s too artificial to orchestrate. H made tacos one night on our anniversary and that was pretty groovy.

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
I can hardly remember. So long ago….

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never. I never danced on a bar, a table or anything like that. I’ve danced naked on a beach before though.

5.Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Larsch. She taught us to make butter by shaking a Mason jar. She rocked.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
In bed reading. Sleeping. Even in my dank office writing about vacuums. Not here.

7. What did you want to be when you grew up?
At what point- it was a million things- movie maker, anchorwoman, writer, world traveler, ballerina, fashion designer, chef.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
Two and a half. (Spent some time at the regional branch of my university.transfered from the 7th ring of hell a.k.a. High Point University and then finally got it right at Maryland, College Park)

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It’s clean and makes my tan look good.

10. GAS PRICES! First thought?
Whoo Hoo! Only $30 to fill my tank of an SUV.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you....
And then what? Is there more to the question? Am I leaving them there to die? Do we ever get to come back? Sorry, can’t answer without more detail.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Thank God it’s not stupid I wanna be hardcore so bad I say swear words Justin Timberlake again!

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Please God, let T.D. sleep through the night.

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Turquoise g-strings. They just look good.

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Clean. Ha Ha. Boxer Briefs in white. Seriously. Don’t pull those freaky colored bikinis unless you want to hear the door shutting.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Vacuuming. Cleaning the kitchen. Icky
17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
Umm.. why not a hospital or shelter. Soup kitchen anyone?

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Ick to the first. Sleep in. Unless there’s shopping to do. Or a trip to go on. Then I’m up early.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
You mean WHO is my favorite character? How much did I love Invader Zim? A lot. But Barbapapa is my fave.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Sit on the couch with H and talk about our day while watching Lost or Rockstar- that’s the movie Rockstar. It’s a hidden gem I swear. 
21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I swear like a mean, drunken sailor. Ok that is not a secret even my Mom knows that one.

22. How many joints pop when you get out of bed in the morning?
Uh…forty? I have no freakin’ idea. Who wrote this?!

23. What is the biggest amount of $$ you have made from a yard sale?
$100. It paid for my moving truck.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
I want to kick the author of this until he or she is dead. Turkey. Real non-slimey turkey. Thin. None of that home-roasted thick shit.

25. What do you get every time you go into a WAWA?
I secretly hate WAWA. It’s like the Bermuda Triangle. I go in and instantly have no idea if it’s night or day, what time it is or what I “need” to buy there. I am always reminded of rainy roadtrips and bad coffee. It makes me twitchy to go in, but gas is cheap.

26. Beach or lake?
Beach.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented?
That was invented to what? Spur more toaster sales? Enrich the diamond industry? Was English your first language when you wrote this?

28. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
MySpace sucks. I boycott.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Lattes. DVR-ing bad tv and watching Netflix of Felicity and Popular.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
The fact that I love, own, and regularly watch Bring It On.

31. What's your drink?
Grande latte, on sugar in the raw, non-fat. Piping hot!
32. Cowboys or Indians?
Hate the author of this.

33. Cops or Robbers?
So very much.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
Don’t you know my love for Lord Vader?

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
I’ve been told Bridget Fonda- I know- who?

37. What do you want when you are sick?
To be left the fuck alone. Sleep a whole day away and read in bed.

38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
No one. I live in the now, man.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
90.9 FM- NPR!

42. Norm or Cliff?
Is this Meme from 1986?

43. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
Can’t compare the two.

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
None. Am perfect.

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
The copier sits across from me. I glean massive office gossip from it. I like that.

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
The person who came up with these retarded questions. Or possibly myself for not having the self-control to simply shit-can it when I realized it was ridiculous.

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Alive or Dead? Can’t answer unless I know. Famous now? Augusten Burroughs.

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope.

50. Last book you read for real?
As opposed to having read for fake? Highly Addictive Substances

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
No. A cookie monster though.

52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
WHAT? What is wrong with you that you ask such a banal question?

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Wine country I guess. Santa Barbara too.
54. Number of texts in a day?
Zero. I am an adult.

56. Do you go to church?
Yes, I do.

57. Pencil or pen?
Which would I rather jam in the neck of the person who came up with these questions? A pen.

58. Bueller??? Bueller??? Bueller???
Drool on a desk. Bubble gum snaps.

59. How many jobs have you had?
I refuse to answer that question on grounds that I’ll look unstable.

Long MeMe

Three names you go by:
1. Vic (only to a certain few, not even H)
2. V
3. Vicky

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. My eyes
2. My breasts
3. My toes when painted

Three physical things you don’t like about yourself:
1. My brand new "mummy tummy"
2. thighs with new mom-inspired cellulite
3. my fine hair

Three parts of your heritage:
1. French
2. Welsh
3. Polish

Three things that scare you:
1. spiders, especially ones with fat ball bodies
2. horror movies
3. the ocean

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. toothpaste
2. deoderant
3. lip gloss

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Paul McCartney
2. Madonna
3. Can I get back to you or I'll write something with the risk of sounding REALLY old


Three of your favorite songs:
1. Express Yourself, Madonna
2. Seven Nation Army, White Stripes
3. Stayin' Alive, Bee Gees

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Sex
2. Humor
3. Loyalty

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. Being a mom makes you brain dead.
2. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
3. When you have that baby you'll feel like a Mom.

TRUTH:
1. Having a child changes everything (whether you have that child through childbirth, adoption or marriage).
2. Success is waking up happy every morning.
3. Happiness can come from many things, unexpected or planned, small or large, person, thing or situation.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. I like gun shows
2. smiling eyes
3. nice teeth. It's like a horse, it has good teeth, it's a good investment

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Reading
2. Writing
3. Baking (I secretly wish I owned a bakery)

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Lose five pounds.
2. Go on a vacation with my girlfriends.
3. Win the lottery. The $200 million lottery.

Three careers you’re considering/you’ve considered:
1. Travel Writer
2. Chef
3. Curator of a musuem

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Austria
3. Greece

Three kid’s names you like:
1. Wyatt
2. Liesel (I don't care that is sounds like weasel)
3. Genevieve

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Live in Provence for a good long while
2. Have hollywood glamour photos taken of me.
3. Raise my child to adulthood.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I tell it like it is.
2. I curse like a shipyard worker.
3. I am not maternal. I'm Nurse Ratchet

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I love making myself pretty.
2. I'm pretty damn empathetic.
3. I could make enough cupcakes to wrap around the planet.

Three celeb crushes:
1. Henry Rollins
2. ADRIEN BRODY
3. a young Paul Newman (circa Coolhand Luke and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof-I feel your pain Maggie)

Five Things

Five Things In My Closet

-A purse hanger with the good intentions of holding all my purses.
-shoes on shelves, shoes on the floor
-plastic shrouded dresses worn to the bazillion weddings I’ve gone to in the last few years.
-baseball hats, mine, H’s and more of H’s
-a tiny Alice in Wonderland type door

Five Things In My fridge

-Thai food from last night
-oj
-yogurt
-pesto
-decade old bottle of green olives

Five Things In My Car

-formula sprayed on the back seat like T.D. was having a party back there
-Black Dahlia book on CD
-Tiffany boxes in the glove box (their empty)
-a year old county dog registration sealed with stamp, never mailed
-mix CD’s with a lot of disco and funk

Five Things In My Purse

-My cell phone
-My Neiman Marcus card
-writing notebook
-planner
-lip venom